Returning Home

Snow. The first one of the season that is more than dust. About 3 inches now, still coming down. The Farmers Almanac tells us this is the first of many, many snows this season as well as very cold weather for the entire Winter. I'm hoping it is a joke. Probably not.

Resiliency of the human body and spirit. A subject I have visited hundreds of times over my professional career. I witnessed it again, in a family member this week. A young woman with a long and complicated medical history has survived another hurtle, another disaster, another earth shattering event....or two. The human spirit, as strong as it can be, fighting through pain and loss of consciousness, of systemic collapse. And there she is, she is back. Less herself but back.

 I needed this snow today. It makes everything look clean and neat. It cushions the sounds of street noise while it allows the echos of footsteps to sound against brick walls. The view from my front porch is one of my favorites at this time of year. Shades of white, shades of gray, filtered and dappled light.

• Returning to the place of most of my profession life is interesting. Not nostalgic. Interesting. How many years I walked those halls. How many souls I met...coming and going. How I still carry many of them in my head and in my heart.
•  Talking with old friends and co-workers, the few that remain. Seeing how all of us have grown and aged. How our families have changed. Children have grown, parents infirm, spouses come and gone.  And how some have stayed too long revealing discouragement and frustration. How this happens in health care. The stress can eat you alive, and does.
• Hugs from those who know of my painful loss. Sincere, some of them little more than nodding acquaintances.  This place was also my home.  These people were like family members. 
• Young men who came to my unit as fledgling interne's, now with their own practice and remembering that I was a rather strong force in their education. Seeing my husband smirk as they recount stories. Your past follows you, you know. When you least expect it.
•  And finally returning to this home that I have known for so long, in the snow,  knowing that the challenges will not change, I will.